The Times Australia
The Times World News

.
The Times Real Estate

.

How to avoid annoying your kids and getting 'stressed by proxy' during exam season

  • Written by Sarah Jefferson, Senior Lecturer in Education, Edith Cowan University
How to avoid annoying your kids and getting 'stressed by proxy' during exam season

I knew assessment season was upon us when my son frantically asked me one morning before school if I had any spare pens in my bag. Despite the fact most tests have moved online, it appears the fear of ink in a pen running out remains a timeless stress factor.

This will likely be a familiar scenario. With NAPLAN moving to March and Year 11 and 12 students already in the throes of multiple assessments, exams are looming for many households with school-aged children.

This is likely to be stressful for parents as well as students, as families cope with pre-test anxieties and perhaps, different approaches to study and learning.

Exams are not the most important thing in life or in school. There is a valid ongoing debate[1] among education researchers about the use of standardised testing. This comes on top of a welcome shift towards developing lifelong creative learners[2], rather than kids who focus on tests.

In the meantime, how can we help our children manage this testing time?

Kids will likely do things their way

As parents, it is important to be aware of how your own school experiences may impact how you respond to your children sitting exams and preparing for them.

Perhaps studying came easily to you or it was very important to your identity growing up. Perhaps you have regrets about your involvement or engagement (or lack thereof) in school. Your natural instinct may be to try too hard to ensure your child does not replicate that experience.

Additionally we all have different ways of studying or revising information. Multiple systematic reviews[3] have debunked the notion of “preferred learning styles” or the idea that students prefer learning through seeing, listening, or physically engaging with a subject. But children may still approach learning differently to us. So we need to ensure our support is tailored to their needs, rather than our preferences.

Read more: What do the NAPLAN test changes mean for schools and students?[4]

How to really annoy your kids

In a recent TEDx talk[5] I gave on the teenage brain and testing, I noted that, in my experience, one question annoys children more than any other:

Why aren’t you studying?

Interestingly, the word “assessment” can act as a great guiding point for parents wanting to help their children during tests and exams. The word “assess” in Latin is the combination of two words meaning “to sit by or sit beside”.

How to ‘sit by’ your children

When it comes to assessment time, instead of getting what I call “stressed by proxy”, it’s important to remain calm because your child will take your cues from you. Some steps to help your child during this time include:

1. Leave them alone after school

When they get home, give them some much needed decompression time, rather than diving straight into study. We know students manage multiple transitions and interactions during the day.

Just as adults need breathing space when they get home from work, so do young people. Even half an hour will help.

2. Have supplies ready

Years of experience have taught me that for some reason, a black pen and a lead pencil are like gold in my household. I have no scientific explanation for the nebula they continually disappear into, but I have a secret stash to be proffered when needed.

I also have a spare charger and highlighter pens because they also become hot button items ahead of exams.

3. This includes snacks and water

A good way to help rather than impose yourself on your kids is to bring them snacks and water first before starting a conversation. Kids will often be hungry, tired and overwhelmed at the end of a long day at school. When we meet this simple need, it is often a great basis for a deeper chat.

A hand, pouring a class of water, with a sandwich in the background.
Offering snacks can be a good way to start a conversation with your child about how they are going. Shutterestock

4. Show them you love them anyway

Finally, it’s important to make it clear to young people that assessments are the equivalent of a Snapchat streak[6]. They capture a brief moment in time and that is all.

Maintaining close and loving connections[7] with our kids during these times of stress is far more important for their longer term wellbeing.

A great measure of success is children being able to disclose their results with us, knowing they are emotionally safe to do so. Sometimes that may mean putting on our best poker face, or taking some very deep silent breaths.

Either way, it’s important we remain a safe space that is available any time they need.

Read more: Back-to-school blues are normal, so how can you tell if it's something more serious?[8]

References

  1. ^ valid ongoing debate (www.frontiersin.org)
  2. ^ developing lifelong creative learners (www.oecd.org)
  3. ^ systematic reviews (eric.ed.gov)
  4. ^ What do the NAPLAN test changes mean for schools and students? (theconversation.com)
  5. ^ TEDx talk (www.youtube.com)
  6. ^ Snapchat streak (www.businessinsider.com)
  7. ^ close and loving connections (www-jstor-org.ezproxy.ecu.edu.au)
  8. ^ Back-to-school blues are normal, so how can you tell if it's something more serious? (theconversation.com)

Read more https://theconversation.com/how-to-avoid-annoying-your-kids-and-getting-stressed-by-proxy-during-exam-season-200719

The Times Features

Itinerary to Maximize Your Two-Week Adventure in Vietnam and Cambodia

Two weeks may not seem like much, but it’s just the right time for travelers to explore the best of Vietnam and Cambodia. From the bustling streets of Hanoi to the magnificent te...

How to Protect Your Garden Trees from Wind Damage in Australia

In Australia's expansive landscape, garden trees hold noteworthy significance. They not only enhance the aesthetic appeal of our homes but also play an integral role in the local...

Brisbane Homeowners Warned: Non-Compliant Flexible Hoses Pose High Flood Risk

As a homeowner in Brisbane, when you think of the potential for flood damage to your home, you probably think of weather events. But you should know that there may be a tickin...

Argan Oil-Infused Moroccanoil Shampoo: Nourish and Revitalize Your Hair

Are you ready to transform your hair from dull and lifeless to vibrant and full of life? Look no further than the luxurious embrace of Argan Oil-Infused Moroccanoil Shampoo! In a...

Building A Strong Foundation For Any Structure

Building a home or commercial building can be very exciting. The possibilities are endless and the future is interesting. You can always change aspects of the building to meet the ...

The Role of a Family Dentist: Why Every Household Needs One

source A family dentist isn’t like your regular dentist who may specialise in a particular age group and whom you visit only when something goes wrong. A family dentist takes proa...

Times Magazine

"Eternal Nurture" by Cara Barilla: A Timeless Collection of Wisdom and Healing

Renowned Sydney-born author and educator Cara Barilla has released her latest book, Eternal Nurture, a profound collection of inspirational quotes designed to support mindfulness, emotional healing, and personal growth. With a deep commitment to ...

How AI-Driven SEO Enhancements Can Improve Headless CMS Content Visibility

Whereas SEO (search engine optimization) is critical in the digital landscape for making connections to content, much of it is still done manually keyword research, metatags, final tweaks at publication requiring a human element that takes extensiv...

Crypto Expert John Fenga Reveals How Blockchain is Revolutionising Charity

One of the most persistent challenges in the charity sector is trust. Donors often wonder whether their contributions are being used effectively or if overhead costs consume a significant portion. Traditional fundraising methods can be opaque, with...

Navigating Parenting Arrangements in Australia: A Legal Guide for Parents

Understanding Parenting Arrangements in Australia. Child custody disputes are often one of the most emotionally charged aspects of separation or divorce. Parents naturally want what is best for their children, but the legal process of determining ...

Blocky Adventures: A Minecraft Movie Celebration for Your Wrist

The Minecraft movie is almost here—and it’s time to get excited! With the film set to hit theaters on April 4, 2025, fans have a brand-new reason to celebrate. To honor the upcoming blockbuster, watchfaces.co has released a special Minecraft-inspir...

The Ultimate Guide to Apple Watch Faces & Trending Wallpapers

In today’s digital world, personalization is everything. Your smartwatch isn’t just a timepiece—it’s an extension of your style. Thanks to innovative third-party developers, customizing your Apple Watch has reached new heights with stunning designs...

LayBy Shopping