The Times Australia
The Times News

.
Beatbot

.

Should I take a gift? As borders open, how to prepare for reuniting with your grandkids

  • Written by David Coall, Senior Lecturer, Edith Cowan University
Should I take a gift? As borders open, how to prepare for reuniting with your grandkids

As border restrictions lift, family reunions are being planned around Australia. This is an exciting but also uncertain time, particularly for grandparents who have been separated from grandchildren.

Over the past months (and in some cases, years), grandchildren will have grown and changed. They may have new interests, routines and skills. You may even have the transformative experience[1] of meeting a new grandchild for the very first time.

With older grandchildren, digital technologies[2] may have kept you in contact and up-to-date. But with younger grandchildren, this is harder, and it may be time to rekindle relationships.

We are researchers investigating the roles grandparents play and the influence[3] this has on families and communities. So, how can grandparents make the most of this time?

The special role of grandparents

Due to increased lifespans, grandparents have more time and ability to invest in their grandchildren than ever before[4] in human history.

The grandparent-grandchild relationship can be a very special one. A grandparent’s involvement in a child’s life, whether through shared actives or a listening ear, is linked[5] to the child’s well-being.

Grandparents hug a baby.
Researchers are finding increasing evidence of the importance of grandparent-grandchild relationships. www.shutterstock.com

The benefits depend on your family situation, but can include improved psychological adjustment for grandchildren[6], increased workforce participation[7] for mothers, and a longer and happier life for grandparents[8].

The importance of asking questions

When preparing to see your grandchildren again, our first suggestion is to ask your grandchild’s parents what they think is a good idea for your first catch-up. What does your grandchild enjoy doing at the moment? What is their daily routine? Is there anything to avoid?

If you are meeting a grandchild for the very first time, bear in mind the parents have gone through huge changes since you last met. As with older children, ask the parents what will suit them in terms of visit type and time.

Read more: New research shows how hard it is for 'flying grannies' to care for their Australian grandkids[9]

Be open and honest[10] about what support you think you can provide, and be aware the parents needs may change (they may want more or less help than they anticipated).

When it comes to discussing the changes a new baby has brought, grandparents are trying to juggle in their mind the thrill of participating in their grandchild’s life, without disrupting or overstepping parents’ boundaries. From our yet to be published research, we understand this is not a simple matter for many families, but starting the conversation is important in maintaining these valuable relationships.

Persistent, not pushy

Your grandchildren may be feeling shy when you first meet. So even though this may have been a longed-for reunion, you may need to tread carefully.

This is perfectly normal and can be overwhelming for everyone. Just take your time, and let them get to know you again. Your first instinct will be to catch up on the thousands of lost hugs, but it may work better stay close by and let them come to you.

Grandparents playing with grandkids.
With young children, you don’t have to plan something fancy for your first catch-up. www.shutterstock.com

The good news for grandparents is that several research projects have shown what grandchildren really want[11] is simply for grandparents to be “there when needed”.

So just “being there” – interested and available – for your first visit is perfectly fine. This helps reduce expectations of what you feel you need to do.

Gifts

Your first inclination may be to bring something exciting to play with together. But on top of seeing each other again, rushing in with a new treat might be too much. You will need to read the room.

Consider taking something small, or maybe you can keep something in the car and bring it out once everyone has warmed up.

Parallel play

Play is obviously central to children’s learning and experience. Early in life, however, this may mean playing alone, which may be confusing for some of us.

Read more: Why you shouldn’t force the kids to hug Granny at Christmas[12]

A good way to work with this while rekindling your relationship is parallel play, particularly if a child is aged between two and five. Parallel play involves playing next to your grandchild and letting them come to you when they are ready.

This is one way you might need to put the patience and persistence we discussed earlier into practice.

Let grandchildren lead (within reason)

In the same vein, don’t feel as though you need to take the lead when working out what to do with your grandchild, either. Or that your idea for reading a certain book or doing a particular puzzle is the one your grandchild will go with.

Grandparents push a grandchild on a swing.
Seeing your grandchild again could be as simple as a walk to the park. www.shutterstock.com

Often, seemingly simple activities like a walk to a park are the most rewarding. Here your grandchild has the opportunity to show you about their world and what they like to do on their terms. It is also a good way to see how your grandchild has grown and developed.

We want to show our unconditional affection and love for our grandchildren, this feels natural[13], and we know it can be so valuable.

But in the the early stages of getting to know each other again, don’t put pressure on you or them. Being available, interested, curious and patient is enough.

Rebecca Bullingham, a masters student in medical and health science at Edith Cowan University, contributed to this article.

References

  1. ^ transformative experience (journals.sagepub.com)
  2. ^ digital technologies (theconversation.com)
  3. ^ influence (www.tandfonline.com)
  4. ^ ever before (journals.sagepub.com)
  5. ^ linked (onlinelibrary.wiley.com)
  6. ^ grandchildren (onlinelibrary.wiley.com)
  7. ^ workforce participation (doi.org)
  8. ^ grandparents (www.sciencedirect.com)
  9. ^ New research shows how hard it is for 'flying grannies' to care for their Australian grandkids (theconversation.com)
  10. ^ open and honest (raisingchildren.net.au)
  11. ^ really want (www.hoepflinger.com)
  12. ^ Why you shouldn’t force the kids to hug Granny at Christmas (theconversation.com)
  13. ^ this feels natural (journals.sagepub.com)

Read more https://theconversation.com/should-i-take-a-gift-as-borders-open-how-to-prepare-for-reuniting-with-your-grandkids-169731

The Times Features

LaManna at Essendon Fields is transforming into a festive wonderland

This festive season, LaManna is decking its halls with an incredible range of goodies to meet all your Christmas needs and ensure your next holiday feast is one to remember.  Wit...

'Big school ready’ before 2025

Rebecca Suseno, a mother from Croydon, NSW, shares her excitement and preparation for her daughter Chiara’s big leap into kindergarten in 2025. As a mother, there’s nothing...

ADHD medications affect children’s appetites. Here’s how to manage this

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) impacts the ability to maintain attention to tasks. Often, it also involves impulsive behaviour – saying or doing things without...

For the foodie or home chef, look no further than premium pizza oven brand, Gozney

Founder and designer, Tom Gozney, wanted to bring a different way of cooking to as many people as possible and has led a movement of unforgettable cooking experiences inspired ...

Beyond bricks and mortar: Building socially connected communities is Australia’s next big challenge

As state governments rush to deliver thousands of homes across the major capitals,1 one of the nation’s leading urban planners warns we must build transit based, mixed-use, w...

New research shows how long, hard and often you need to stretch to improve your flexibility

Can you reach down and touch your toes without bending your knees? Can you reach both arms overhead? If these sound like a struggle, you may be lacking flexibility. Flexibilit...

Times Magazine

Aussies are juggling jobs and starting quirky businesses to make extra cash

Brand new research* has revealed 67 per cent of workers aged 18-24 in Australia want the opportunity to work overtime or extra shifts in efforts to increase their take-home pay to help with current costs of living. Whether it’s a photography gig ...

Understanding Hair Loss in Men: Causes, Prevention, and Effective Care Routines

Most men suffer from hair loss, which is a common problem affecting millions of users worldwide and starts at various stages — Some may even have their hair thinning in the early 20s While others cannot observe any signs later on. No matter how it ...

How OEM Navigation Systems Improve Trucking Safety Standards

OEM navigation systems for trucks have become essential tools for modern trucking operations. These systems are integrated directly into vehicles, offering precise navigation and real-time updates. Unlike aftermarket solutions, OEM systems are design...

Space Machines partners with four start-ups for 2022 Orbital Transfer Vehicle launch

Space Machines Company (SMC), Australian in-space logistics provider, today announces four Australian startups, Spiral Blue, Esper Satellite Imagery, Sperospace and Dandelions, as customers for the launch of its first Orbital Transfer Vehicle, ...

The Ethical Considerations of AI Chatbots: Balancing Innovation with Responsibility

The rise of AI chatbots has dramatically transformed how businesses interact with customers. These intelligent tools can handle inquiries, provide support, and even personalize user experiences. However, with this innovation comes a host of ethical c...

Things you need to know about certificate iii in mobile plant technology

g Certification is very important for all types of work in the industry. To succeed in the field, you need to complete the certification in the required field that you opt for. You can keep industrial technology working at peak capacity with certi...

LayBy Shopping