What’s the difference between shyness and social anxiety?
- Written by Kayla Steele, Postdoctoral research fellow and clinical psychologist, UNSW Sydney
“What’s the difference?” is a new editorial product that explains the similarities and differences between commonly confused health and medical terms, and why they matter.
The terms “shyness” and “social anxiety” are often used interchangeably because they both involve feeling uncomfortable in social situations.
However, feeling shy[1], or having a shy personality, is not the same as experiencing social anxiety[2] (short for “social anxiety disorder”).
Here are some of the similarities and differences, and what the distinction means.
How are they similar?
It can be normal to feel nervous or even stressed in new social situations or when interacting with new people. And everyone differs in how comfortable they feel when interacting with others.
For people who are shy or socially anxious, social situations can be very uncomfortable, stressful or even threatening. There can be a strong desire to avoid these situations.
People who are shy or socially anxious may respond with[3] “flight” (by withdrawing from the situation or avoiding it entirely), “freeze” (by detaching themselves or feeling disconnected from their body), or “fawn[4]” (by trying to appease or placate others).
A complex interaction of biological and environmental factors is also thought to influence the development of shyness and social anxiety.
For example, both shy children[5] and adults with social anxiety[6] have neural circuits that respond strongly to stressful social situations, such as being excluded or left out.
People who are shy or socially anxious commonly report physical symptoms of stress in certain situations, or even when anticipating them. These include sweating, blushing, trembling, an increased heart rate or hyperventilation.
Not all shy children go on to develop social anxiety.
249 Anurak/Shutterstock[7]
However, people with social anxiety have overwhelming fears about embarrassing themselves or being negatively judged by others; they experience these fears consistently and across multiple social situations.
The intensity of this fear or anxiety often leads people to avoid situations. If avoiding a situation is not possible, they may engage in safety behaviours, such as looking at their phone, wearing sunglasses or rehearsing conversation topics.
The effect social anxiety can have on a person’s life can be far-reaching. It may include low self-esteem, breakdown of friendships or romantic relationships, difficulties pursuing and progressing in a career, and dropping out of study.
The impact this has on a person’s ability to lead a meaningful and fulfilling life, and the distress this causes, differentiates social anxiety from shyness.
Children can show similar signs or symptoms of social anxiety to adults. But they may also feel upset and teary, irritable, have temper tantrums, cling to their parents, or refuse to speak[8] in certain situations.
If left untreated, social anxiety can set children and young people up for a future of missed opportunities, so early intervention is key. With professional and parental support[9], patience and guidance, children can be taught strategies[10] to overcome social anxiety.
Why does the distinction matter?
Social anxiety disorder is a mental health condition that persists[11] for people who do not receive adequate support or treatment.
Without treatment, it can lead to difficulties[12] in education and at work, and in developing meaningful relationships.
Receiving a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder can be validating for some people as it recognises the level of distress and that its impact is more intense than shyness.
A diagnosis can also be an important first step in accessing appropriate, evidence-based treatment.
Different people have different support needs. However, clinical practice guidelines[13] recommend cognitive-behavioural therapy (a kind of psychological therapy that teaches people practical coping skills). This is often used with exposure therapy[14] (a kind of psychological therapy that helps people face their fears by breaking them down into a series of step-by-step activities). This combination is effective in-person[15], online[16] and in brief treatments[17].
Treatment is available online as well as in-person.
ImYanis/Shutterstock[18]
For more support or further reading
Online resources about social anxiety include:
We thank the Black Dog Institute Lived Experience Advisory Network[19] members for providing feedback and input for this article and our research.
References^ feeling shy (theconversation.com)^ social anxiety (theconversation.com)^ respond with (theconversation.com)^ fawn (theconversation.com)^ shy children (link.springer.com)^ adults with social anxiety (www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)^ 249 Anurak/Shutterstock (www.shutterstock.com)^ refuse to speak (theconversation.com)^ parental support (theconversation.com)^ strategies (theconversation.com)^ persists (link.springer.com)^ difficulties (pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)^ clinical practice guidelines (www.nice.org.uk)^ exposure therapy (theconversation.com)^ in-person (theconversation.com)^ online (www.semanticscholar.org)^ brief treatments (pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)^ ImYanis/Shutterstock (www.shutterstock.com)^ Lived Experience Advisory Network (www.blackdoginstitute.org.au)Read more https://theconversation.com/whats-the-difference-between-shyness-and-social-anxiety-225669
